A Tail To Tell

"You were wagging your tail too much" says Mama O. "Yeseeshah, obviousa!" Jezebel agrees. 

I was just excited to see this guy. He's visiting SF from out of state. I knew him from long before. But his facebook pics put on display how better-looking he is now. Then there he is in the flesh again. He truly looks different with his new physique. 

He with his clique joined us. I didnt know that I showed too much interest by acting like a dog wagging his tail like a windshield wiper powered to the maximum speed until Mama O and Jezebel told me so. 

Maybe i did ask him a lot of questions. Maybe my body language were too much. Maybe I used too much touch. Or manifested a lot of licking the lips. All the while, I thought I was just being friendly.

"Was I that obvious?" I asked the sisters. "Was it bad?" 

Mama O doesnt think so. He liked what he saw: He saw confidence, a thing he seldom see in me when it comes to flirting. But I still thought the over-wagging of the tail was too much. It didnt work. 

Jezebel showed me a smile when I said that. The Sookie Stockhouse in me snapped. Jeze's mind recited: "It's not because you wagged your tail too much. It was how you wagged it. The way like a pig does when he sees food".  Charot!

Well, yes. There are advantages and disadvantages in showing a guy how interested you are of him in your first meeting. Wagging your tail plus good looks wont always give you a free pass. Maybe i dont have the good looks, just the wagging. Chos! 

Now, I say goodbye to my tail: 

The letter Q without the tail, is no Q anymore. It becomes an O. Some like the letter Q and some like the plain letter O. Analyze that and Good Luck to all of you! Tse! 

Smooth Asian For Caucasian

Guess kung kaninong katawan ito:

Yesssaaaah! Kay Mama O itrek!!

The Oracle is getting there ha. Medyo nawala na ang suso in fairy ness. Kailangan pa ng sit-ups, Inday! Thanks to Felipe, ang Peruvian nyang trainer. Yumaman sa kanya! Charot!

At ang smooth ng putah ha! Brown-Sugar scrub raw. O di ba? Winner sa Craigslist itrek! Smooth Asian for Caucasian! 

Mama O is no longer the College Papa Panda he used to be. Miss Gay Jubis kasi sya dati. As in super!  Umabot ng 200 lbs for his 5'7" frame. Malaki ang dudam without the help of pills. Jutting out si Belly Flores without the beer. Pero now... Wagi ang gagah! Tse!

Solito's Boy

The film started with a lousy drag queen, with an ugly set of teeth, lip-synching to Leah Navarro's "Isang Mundo, Isang Awit". The subtitles translate the song into a beautiful prose. Wiz ko realize how powerful the message of this metro-pop song was. Now lang talaga. 

Ngayon mundo'y gulung-gulo 

At lahat tayo'y litung-lito 

Pag-ibig sa kapwa... (tao) 

Sa daigdig dapat ituro 

With that lady-DRAGon singing, I thought that was a good start.

Aureus Solito's Boy is not about a male house-help. (Akala ko kasi ganon eh. Chos!). It is about a boy (Hello?) who spend one evening in a Gay Bar and is bowled over by one of the young Macho Dancers there named Aries. (Type ko ang Aries, in fernalou. May Datetch! Sexu!) Without enough money to rent Aries, nag ala Douglas Mcarthur ang batang bakla: "I Shall Return!" ang moda! 

Returning with enough cash from trading his comic book collection, Boy gets the boy, bringing him home to Mama in New Year's eve! Without Mama knowing about the putukan that is going to happen, the boys spend the night upstairs teaching us of how different kinds of isda survive, and then, yun na: Big Bang sa Alabang na. Did Mama eventually find out about the Payanig sa Pasig? ... Watch the movie na lang!

Yesaaah! that sounds like another coming of age gay movie but it's pretty much different from the others. The film doesnt shout: "Hey I'm a gay teenager! I'm scared of homophobia. I'm depressed. Ill kill myself. You need to accept me. Thanks Mama, now I can have this happy cry because you accepted me for who I am. It's OK to be gay pala! I need to fight for my rights. Asan ang slogan?". It is not that at all kaya sya iba. 

I would say, I dont love it but I like it. There were three or four scenes that left me hung heavy and bored a bit including that lengthy sex scene. (Namulat na lang ako ulit ng pinakita na ni Aries yung kanya. Chos! but true!). 

The conversations between the characters saved the movie. I thought they were witty and cute. (Or maybe the English Subtitles make it different, I dunno. Di ko kasi mapigilang magbasa ng subtitles kahit Tagalog na ang pinapanood ko).

Basta.... 

Ang ending, pinalakpakan naman talaga ng mga kano ang Boy, in fernalou ferrigno. The actor who played the mother of the boy, Madeliene Nicolas and the producer (kalimutan ko ang pangalan, sorry) were there to answer questions from the viewers. (Sayang wala ang Aries. Charooot!). There i found out na Aries pala is playing himself. Totoots na Macho Dancer pala sya sa tunay na buhay. Same with the Macho-Dancers extras at ang mga DRAGons! 

My question was: "If your name is Luka, will you live on the second-floor?" (Chos!)

Aureus Solito's Boy is part of the San Francisco LGBT Film Festival which is going on now. It will be shown again today at 4:30 PM sa Victoria Theatre (16th St. and Mission) Vavoooo! 

Spagetting Pababa

I went out of work early kanina. I was craving for Spag... so dumaan ako ng grocery store at bumili ng mailuto. I texted sis Jezebel na am going to be home early and will cook spag and buy Merlot for dinner. Excited ang gagah.  

I havent seen Jezza for 4 days na. She went to LA kasi for the Gay Pride Weekend doon. There's a lot of catching up to do. The spag and the wine will be a good match. 

Jezza is not home yet when I got home. Nagluto na ako ahead. I also bought bread to toast. Nilagyan ng butter at nilagay sa oven. 

Good timing ang Jezza. Ready to eat na ang Spag ng dumating sya.

4, 3, 2, 1.... kumain na kami. Kwentuhan galore. I asked him about LA. He told me about what he felt sa kanyang bestfriend doon. Naiba na raw ang samahan nila dahil may Jowa na ito. Di na katulad ng dati na everytime magkasama sila, go lang ng go ang bakla. Pero ngayong may Jowa na, for your consideration na ang Papa nya. Kung ayaw nito, ayaw na rin ng BFF. 

Yan ang topic namin habang eating the Spag and drinking the Merlot: Naiiba na ba ang samahan ng baklang magkaibigan kung may mga Jowa na ang mga ito? 

Ang dami ng processing ang naganap. Possesive lang ba tayo? Naging number 2 na lang ba tayo being a friend at number 1 dapat ang Jowa? Kasalanan ba ng Jowa kung di na katulad ng dati ang samahan nating magkaibigan? Or kasalanan ba ng ating kaibigan for choosing the Jowa over us when it comes to decision-making?

Very interesting ang conversation namin ng Jezza. Naka dalawang serving ng spag ang gagah! Pero teka..... asan na ang Toasted Bread? Asan na? OMG! Eto na sya:

Moral Lesson: Huwag pabayaan at kalimutan ang mga baklang kaibigan dahil sarap na sarap ka na sa Jowa mo. Sabayin ang toasted bread sa Spag at wine.... lalong sasarap ito! 

Asian Fashion Invasion

Enough of the Japanese Designers for now. We all know they are very good. But how about other east Asian designers? Well, I think its our time to shine. Take your pick:

[Jason Wu]

[Thakoon Panichgul]

[Alexander Wang]

[Prabal Gurung]

[Philip Lim]

[Benjamin Cho]

[Derek Lam]

But still, like Ms Sui and Vera, they are all Asian-Americans. Nothing comes from Truly Asia except for the  Japanese who were mostly home-grown. And where are the Pinoys? Well.... "Let the beat control your body" says Monique Lhuillier. Good luck!!. 

Ekta Tan's Goal: To be the first Pinoy Bakla to join the rank. Tse!

Best (Bakla) Blog Titles... Ever

Some bloggers write about their list of Top 10 Most Influential Bloggers.... meron pang 'Emerging Bloggers' yung iba...  I dunno kung ano ang basis nila. Powerful ba dapat ang blog para makasali sa list? Distinguished? Affluential? Or just Kate Moss-ed? 

Dahil hindi napapasali ang LTE sa mga lists nila, gagawa na lang kami ng aming list. (Charoot lang ang pag ka bitter ocampo dahil di napasali. Tse!).   

Our list is not about who is the most Influential, or the most Popular. This is not even about the content of the blogs listed. This is all about the ones with the best Blog Head Titles. Yung Title pa lang... may sense na kaagad at baklang-bakla ka na.

So here is our Top 10 list of The Best Bakla Blog Titles:

TOP 10

Ang Mga Lihim Ni Hudas

Chronicles of A Descended Goddess from the Himalayas

Ang Nawawalang Diary ng Isang Super Starlet

The Evening Sky Is Pink

The Spy in the Sandwich Eats the Sun

4th Runner-Up:

Ang Talinhaga ng mga Kuda ni Mujang

3rd Runner Up:

My Magic Lasso Tells The Truth

2nd Runner Up:

The Misadventures of the Adventurous Bottom

1st Runner Up:

Bakla Ako.. May Reklamo? 

And the Winner is......

The Boy Who Cried... Chos! 

Just like some other bloggers' Lists.... there will be no explanation needed. Congratulations to The Boy Who Cried... Chos! Wagi ka! 

Di Ako Papayag!

We are absolutely thrilled to END you:

Wag payagan ang babaeng ito kumalat ng bwisit sa bayan natin. Nag-iilusyon ang gagah! Pwe!

Parallel Universe

In the parallel universe, there could be an another me existing in a different space and time. The me in the parallel universe could be 10 years younger than I am now and could also be thinking about his 10 years older duplicate in our own known universe. 

Im pretty sure it was not me. Or maybe Physics can explain?

Anyways, this comes from a Parallel Universe just three doors down from Lyka Bergen and her step-sisters' own:

 

Di ba ang gaganda namin? Tse!

Branden and Justerie

Branden Rickman: Make Me A Supermodel 2 Winner

Kumain kami sa Jolibee ni Jezebel isang araw. Kahabaan ng pila. Si Darwin ang server namin. Yung server behind the counter ba. Classic trained Greetings si Darwin sa amin:

"Hi I'm Darwin. Welcome to Jollibee!"

All-Male Top 3 Finalists: 

Jonathan, Sandhurst, and Branden

Habang pini-prepare ni Darwin ang mga orders namin, noticed ni Jezebel sa katabing counter, trainee ang humahawak. Parang tinuturuan pa lang ng manager ang babaeng ito. Ang nasa nameplate: Justerie.

Congratulations Branden!

Mukhang kinakabahan si Justerie. First day nya ata. "Next!" sigaw nya. Isang babaeng makapal ang make-up ang first customer nya. Kamukhan ni Odette Khan. Bigla na lang bumanat ang Justerie.....

"Hi! I am... Jollibee!"

"Aaay mali! " ang kasunod nito. Di namin mapigilan ang tawa. Lahat tumawa na rin, pati na si Odette Khan. 

Mabuhay ang mga katulad mo Justerie! Mabuhay!

Photo Essay: Hot Asyang Smokes

Photo:

"A Beautiful Man Remixed" 

by ABM Project

Essay:

Sa lahat ng mga sisters, ang Lyka lang ang mahilig sa Asyang. Nasubukan na rin ang Puti, Latino, at ang mga Arabo, pero Asyang pa rin ang hinahanap. Si Mama O, never na raw tikman ulit ang sariling lahi. Ewan ko ba sa bruhang yan. Maliliit raw kasi. Choot! Si Ekra, blue-blonde lang ang hanap. Complementary raw sa kulay nyang baluga. Charot! Si Jeze... oh si Jeze, minsan lumalandi din sa mga Asyang, sa mga asyang half nga lang. Tse! 

Nang  kalalapag ko ng Thailand early this year, Juicy fruit gum! Sex kaagad ang naamoy ko. There is something kasi sa mga Thais na to. Ewan, two, three ko ba at di ko ma-explain. Gusto ko yung mas maliit sa akin. (di yung sa baba ha!) At smooth dapat. And also, dapat Dark! Kaya di ko masyadong bet ang mga Koreana at Kurara. Lalo na ang Made in China! Mashaaang! Pale kasi kahit smooth. At ayoko namang sa di tule at kagubatan ang bermuda triangle. (Ganon nga ba ang mga Chenes?) Di ko pa kasi nasubukan.

Kaya, maka-Pinoy pa rin ako. Comfortable ako sa Pinoy. at ang mga Thai, sa kama na lang.

-----O-----

Amoy yosi ang bahay. Ewan ko ba at di naman nagrereklamo ang Jezebel Patel. Isang kahang Marlboro Lights a day each kasi kami ni Mama O. Sabi nga ni Ekra, mukhang matanda raw kami dahil sa yosi. Tse nya! Sagot naman ni Mama O :"Mukhang bata ka lang dahil sa muk-up!". Lol! 

Wala pa namang naramdamang sakit so far. Sinubukan ko ng mag quit pero ewan, di ko makaya. Addiction na talaga. I have to drive early morning to buy cigarettes kung maubusan ako. Di ako makatulog kung di makahithit knowing na wala na akong yosi. $6 na rin ang Marlboro ngayon. Isipin mo $180 a month na yun! Isang Seven for All Mankind jeans na rin yun a month ha! Pero ewan ko ba..... leche!

Makahithit nga! 

We Love Don Protasio

We love Don Protasio. The label that is. 

Not because we are friends with the designer. He's just so awesome. DON spells Dandy, Original, and New. This Philippine Fashion Week 09 collection is candidly splendid! We love!

Especially this look:

I love the shorts. Mama O loves the hoody. Jezebel loves the shoes. And Ekra loves the model.

Congratulations Fuchsiaboy! You inspire us! We love you! Tse!

Photo Credit: Butch Casanova of Style-Anywhere.Com