Shoutouts!

... from the past 4 weeks of being away.

- Always cannot wait for the Fat One to be eliminated on ANTM!

- Rapunzel looks better in short and dark hair.

- Tens of wheelchairs lining up in PAL US Flights. The Pinoy elderly loves to travel!

- Why is third-world Bali so expensive,..... fucking?

- Cambodia-based Pinoy designer Don Protasio wears Red Briefs!

- When it rains, its Four. Because with me, Sky is the Langit! -Luis Batchoy

- Bangkok's massage 'therapists' are better looking than Phuket's!

- Kuala Lumpur's gay sister says Pinas has the best looking Go-Go Boys.

- I dont see Stress on Pinoy faces! What's wrong with America?

- Kawadjan snores like Little Red Riding Hood...... ('s Big Bad Wolf).

To endure, that is all! - Rilke (Thanks Batchoy!)

Balintawak

Cant wait to see you in March! The "Pray" Leg of our 2011 tour. Luluhod ako, promise!

Mr Indonesia Thomas Sebastian

The Beauty Pageant Is Over

OK, accept ko na. I am no longer Megan Young na. Kaya....

From this:

To this na:

I should be age-appropriate na talaga. Promise!

Everybody But Me

Before I go to sleep, I dream.

When Im already asleep, I dream more.

And when I wake up, I look for a cigarette

Then the usual, saying hello to Mac

Without him, I'm lost

Gosh! I soo miss Jack, Kate, and Hurley already.

But wait! Alejandro, Fernando, and Roberto are here,

On stilettos ... hot like Cabo, Mexico

Dancing gaga with the next Madonna

But I love Sabel more.

And Tina, who revives Sabel's career

In a super fashionista way.

DP's Red didn't surprise us

Neither did The Yellows and the Blacks

But the cager at the proclamation did.

Where is Josh....

Halloway's Sawyer? I miss too.

And Ben... not the Cabrera, maker of Sabel.

Now I'm really lost.

Just need to write something

Or else Kiks will mow me down

The King Kong of Hong Kong,

This is for you!

Regards to Aaron!

It's such a beautiful night!

Everybody is alive!

But me.

It's time for my Vitamin Water

while Mama O has her Smart Water.

Thank you Glaceau!

Misery

A Bad Sign?

Facebook shout-outs from 2 of my friends say:

"Misery is not attractive, if you want to be loved, you have to be worth loving"

another writes...

"Jealousy breathes Misery"

One after another. And they're not even FB friends with each other. 

A mere coincidence, until...... 

My online Scrabble time. After placing 33 points with the 2-letter word Qi on my pamatay-oras Pogo Scrabble, my opponent just positioned her letters for her turn, of all words,.... Misery.

Scary, huh? Kathy Bates comes to mind. That makes it bone-chilling! I hope everything will be fine. Pls lang!

I Am Everybody

I am Marc Nelson

Rovilson Fernandez had a hard time recognizing the flags of the countries they have visited in The Amazing Race Asia 2 causing them to lose the race. I am Marc Nelson disappointed of the sudden fall due to my partner's lack of knowledge in Vexillology. I am Marc who, despite my partner's fault, thinks a partnership or a team should still be with each other regardless of one member's frailty. 

I am B.A. Baracus

But who am I as a team member? I am BA Baracus. Mr T's character in the campy 80's TV series called The A-Team. I am BA Baracus because I am afraid to Fly. Scared to launch my rocket, the rocket I held back to build because I know I will be terrified to launch it thinking it would be a failure.  And when I am in the sky with the team, I show them what I really feel. Scared and Fearful that they would like to punch me in the face. 

I am Baran

I am full of fears. I am always afraid. I was hurt so I am afraid of returning. I am Baran. Director Majid Majidi's Baran, the fictional poor Afghan girl who represents herself as a boy in order to work and function in an illiberal society. I am afraid that my peers will discover my true gender. I should always wear the mask... even it may cost me my love to the man I adore. I know its wrong, but am pretty sure that at the end, everyone will understand.

I am Marc. I am BA. I am Baran. I am Lyka Bergen. I am them. I am you. And in some little ways, you are Me too. Tse! 

Tatlong Itlog

One thing I lyk living with Mama O and Jezebel in one house is we share everything: Secrets, high heels, and food. Kung ano man ang nabili mo sa tindihan at nilagay sa fridge or sa cabinet, ito ay for everyone na. Bahala ka kahit porterhouses pa yan. 

I just got back from work tonight at walang katao-tao. Tulog na ang Jeze at ang Mama O naman ay nasa second job nya na. Walang makain? At eto ang bumati sa akin sa dining table.....

Thank you Jezza for your eggs but they look so maputi... di ko type! Chos! I left you half of my watermelon sa fridge. Mapula sya! Tse!

The only thing we dont share to each other: MEN. Amen!  

Smooth Asian For Caucasian

Guess kung kaninong katawan ito:

Yesssaaaah! Kay Mama O itrek!!

The Oracle is getting there ha. Medyo nawala na ang suso in fairy ness. Kailangan pa ng sit-ups, Inday! Thanks to Felipe, ang Peruvian nyang trainer. Yumaman sa kanya! Charot!

At ang smooth ng putah ha! Brown-Sugar scrub raw. O di ba? Winner sa Craigslist itrek! Smooth Asian for Caucasian! 

Mama O is no longer the College Papa Panda he used to be. Miss Gay Jubis kasi sya dati. As in super!  Umabot ng 200 lbs for his 5'7" frame. Malaki ang dudam without the help of pills. Jutting out si Belly Flores without the beer. Pero now... Wagi ang gagah! Tse!

Parallel Universe

In the parallel universe, there could be an another me existing in a different space and time. The me in the parallel universe could be 10 years younger than I am now and could also be thinking about his 10 years older duplicate in our own known universe. 

Im pretty sure it was not me. Or maybe Physics can explain?

Anyways, this comes from a Parallel Universe just three doors down from Lyka Bergen and her step-sisters' own:

 

Di ba ang gaganda namin? Tse!

Branden and Justerie

Branden Rickman: Make Me A Supermodel 2 Winner

Kumain kami sa Jolibee ni Jezebel isang araw. Kahabaan ng pila. Si Darwin ang server namin. Yung server behind the counter ba. Classic trained Greetings si Darwin sa amin:

"Hi I'm Darwin. Welcome to Jollibee!"

All-Male Top 3 Finalists: 

Jonathan, Sandhurst, and Branden

Habang pini-prepare ni Darwin ang mga orders namin, noticed ni Jezebel sa katabing counter, trainee ang humahawak. Parang tinuturuan pa lang ng manager ang babaeng ito. Ang nasa nameplate: Justerie.

Congratulations Branden!

Mukhang kinakabahan si Justerie. First day nya ata. "Next!" sigaw nya. Isang babaeng makapal ang make-up ang first customer nya. Kamukhan ni Odette Khan. Bigla na lang bumanat ang Justerie.....

"Hi! I am... Jollibee!"

"Aaay mali! " ang kasunod nito. Di namin mapigilan ang tawa. Lahat tumawa na rin, pati na si Odette Khan. 

Mabuhay ang mga katulad mo Justerie! Mabuhay!

Maybe

I am not so glad with Maybe. It is like Purgatory. You're trapped somewhere awaiting judgement in a place you dont want to be. 

Maybe, 'Maybe' is good.... it develops patience. It also gives you hope. But when the right time comes where there will be no Maybe for an answer, you realize you've already finished sniffing a pack of Hope. Detrimental like the carcinogens you get from an over-grilled pork.

And when you got the answer you wanted, you jump with joy and say to yourself, your wait is worth. But hidden underneath the blanket of jubilation, is the golden Time you've wasted waiting. 

Ill rather have No for an answer than Maybe. I hate Maybe. It hinders you to Move On. 

Blame Maybelline because Maybe, It's Maybelline! 

Defeating the Horizon

Two weeks later.... Jack Johnson has defeated the horizon. Two weeks earlier.... Ignition. You think you have to run away. But the answer is to stay. There is no such thing as a perfect friend. But close are the ones who act in accordance with science. Encompassing the systemic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world. Sometimes we have to accept things the way they are.

A heart attack is a serious matter. Especially when imparted by a sister.  Emotional pain is more throbbing than its physical counterpart. A Morphine drip wont work. Communication is its medicine. Silence will worsen the wound. It will lead to gangrene. 

Restoration of the Mona Lisa is no piece of cake.  And yes, it will take plenty of hardwork and time to acquire David's chiseled physique. The art of perfection will frankly frustrate but trying wont hurt. A perfect cake is baked for 45 minutes in a right temperature. We have to wait and we have to set the right discussion.

We have to do it for if a friend suffers, then we will too. 

We live. We learn. Even Alanis has to forgive love. Jack Johnson is wrong. We can never defeat the horizon. It will always be there. That is why, we have to move on.

2009's First Quarter Montage

2009's here! Ano kaya ang ganap?.... 

Medyo alam ko na kung anong meron sa first quarter of 2009 for me. And am excited na to start this new year right.

I'm going to get this...

This will be my new year's official toy. (Goodbye to Dildos! Chos!). Ekra fire-started this photo chu-chu vigor. I always love to compose pictures, so go na rin ako! Wiz ever ko take ang photography seriously but when I saw Ekra's portfolio of his 2008's photos, sinabi ko sa sarili ko: "Maganda sya! Pero, i could do better.... I guess!" Charot! We'll just wait and see this year for eagerness has started to boil up. 

I will be in these 4 countries this March:

The original Spain plan has changed. My birthday will be celebrated in Krabi, I will go tubing in Vang Vieng @ the age of 36, And will be reminded that being old can be beautiful too with the famous Angkot Wat. Will also be in Halong Bay! Krabi na toh!  

And finally, meeting them...

The Lips and the Designer. The hours @ YM, the kantyawan and all. I will surely be enjoying their company. (I hope. Chos!)

And also this blogger who took this pic below:

He'll be visiting us here in SF this February. The first thing I'm going to ask him: "How do you do it @ age 40?" He knows what I mean. Hehehe! I guess its the slice of Papaya every night. Not to eat it, but to mash it on your face. 

Then the T-Shirt Project of the LTE Sisters.....

Noong new year's eve kasi, sa dinner table, The LTE sisters came up with this idea of designing shirts. We agreed to do some trials first, then produce and market them kung maganda ang kalabasan. At 3AM when everybody is sleeping na, di makatulog ang Lyka sa pag-iisip ng designs. Kaya ayun binuksan ang puter at nag-conceptualize. Naka-apat. Benta-ble naman kaya?

And of course..... Home!

Nothing excites me every year than the thought of going home. Ewan ko ba! Kalokah. Basta, Di ko ma-explain! Tse!

 

----O----

Yan! Yan ang first quarter ng 2009 ko. Mukhang masaya naman. I hope tuloy-tuloy na toh! I hope happy na rin ang New Year ninyo! Ang sabi nga ni Ekra: "I hope happy kayo sa toothpaste nyo!" Vavooo!

The Tesseract

I loved the book but hated the movie. Manila is Bangkok. Vincente becomes Wit. Wit who steals. Wit who lies. Totally different from his book's counterpart, Cente. Alex Garland's book, The Tesseract and the Pang Brothers' film interpretation didnt form a dimensional hypercube. It is like Madonna as a Pop artist and Madonna the actress. 

Ekra in Vegas messaged me: "You have to see her before you die. That is how good she is". No, she is not talking about Charice. Seeing Madonna perform is not on the top of my list. I'll rather see Easter Island before I die. A dream transforming into reality. That's the only thing that can wow me. 

Nothing has holy-jeez-gosh-wowed me yet. Not even my first glance of the beautiful Boracay Beach, neither Sigur Ros being a stone's throw away nor Pan's Labyrinth, nor the Burj Al Arab and the snow-covered Grand Canyon, And definitely not my first IMAX experience. Close maybe is the sex i had with this pretty stranger eleven years ago. He was 35, I was 24. Now that I am 35, would there be a 24-year old for me? Charot!

I was 24 when I first left the Philippines. Sydney was great. I celebrated my 25th birthday at the Planet Hollywood-Sydney. I thought it was cool.  I dont go to any Planet Hollywood anymore. The last time was in Niagara. The food sucks. So Uncool!

The weather is getting cold now. I wake up with these joint pains. My groin aches. I am getting older. The first half of the supersymmetries of Life has just ended. I wonder what's next. 

We can see the thing unraveled, but not the thing itself. - Alex Garland. The Tesseract.

Fuck You All!

"Fuck You All!" by Lyka Bergen

A Jackson Pollack style painting attempt by yours trulala. It reminds me of how beautiful yet complex (my) Life is. Easy on the eye but tortuous Life that is. Why the Title? Wala lang. I can think of nothing good (today). 

You can do your own Pollack here. Move lang ng move! Click lang ng Click! You'll find striking results. Splendid! Tse!

Odd Gay Couple

Kakatapos ko lang panoorin ang Italyanong pelikula na may pamagat na L' Imbalsamatore (The Embalmer) at may moral lesson din akong nakuha dito. Eto sya......

Ang straight ay para sa kapwa straight lang

At ang bading ay para sa kapwa bading lamang.

Yun na! When it comes to finding a partner, wag ng pilitin pa na ma- In Love ang mga Papang Straight sa atin at baka matulad tayo kay Peppino (ang bakla  sa pelikula na natsugi dahil sa pag-ibig). Di ba kalokah? IMO, tayo pa rin ang talo sa huli kung papasukin natin to. 

Remember ko tuloy ang kwentuhan namin ni Bananas. Ito kasing baklang to, may crush na super gwapo. Eh hindi nya raw alam kong papano landiin ang Papang gwapo. Isa lang ang advice ko sa kanya. Eto....... 

Ang maganda ay para sa maganda

Ang pangit ay sa pangit.

Natahimik ang bruha. Akala ko nagalit. Kaya dinagdagan ko na lang kaagad. Eto.....

Ang matatalino ay para sa matatalino rin

At ang mababaw ay sa mababaw lamang.

Kaya kung Matalino ka at Pangit, pwede mo maangkin ang Papang Gwapo. Ito'y kung sya ay matalino rin. 

Napa-agree ang Bananas. That means........ Pangit sya! Chos! (Mare, Jokla lang at wag magalit. Kasi... Ang mga mababait ay para sa mababait. At ang pikon ay Pangit!

Na-ikwento ko to kay Mama O. Iba naman ang comment ng bakla. Eto ang sabi nya..... 

Ang Mayamang baklang pangit ay para sa Papang gipit!

(Ano ba yan Mama O? Palitan yan dali! Palitan!)

Leche!

Leche! Ang lungkot lungkot ko ngayon. Ewan ko ba. Walang nagaganap na bago sa buhay na tets! Kung teleserye to, am sure flop to. Kakalokah! Kakainis! Kaka Inocencio!

Makikita naman sa mukha ko ditrek, davu?:

Bwisit na windshield na toh! (Photo by Mama O from his IPhone).

Buti pa ang The O, paupo-upo lang sa front seat! Tse!

Very Blueberry

This is how far of Boy Abunda I can be.....

Having Blueberry Cheesecake while watching My Blueberry Nights.

My Review: Mas masarap ang Blueberry Cheesecake compared kay Norah Jones. Pero wagi ang mga shots ni Wong Kar Wai. Wagi din ang beauty ni Rachel Weisz! At ang pinaka-wagi: Si Jude Law!!! Na-appreciate ko sya dito ng husto! Vavoooo!

Tomorrow Will Be Better, I Swear!

I want to write about you
Pero Di ko alam kung papaano.

I want to write about kahapon
Pero naguguluhan ako ngayon.

Bukas. Bukas na lang.
Hihintayin na lang natin ang bukas.
Dahil na sa 'Bukas' ang lahat ng sagot.

...........

Talaga bang na-Djug mo na si Sheena Easton?

Ano Na?!!!!

Namatay na si Heath Ledger
Pati na rin si Brad Renfro

At ngayon lang nabuhay ulit ang Lyka

Na-Nominate na si Casey Affleck
At nanalo na si Lola Ruby Dee

At ngayon lang natauhan ang Lyka

Napatalsik na si Jose De Venecia
At ang Obama tinulungan ni Oprah

Litong-Lito Lapid pa rin ang Lyka

May limang Grammy's na ang Amy Winehouse
At nilabas na ni Michael ang bago nyang Thriller

Wala pa ring musika ang LTE!!!!

Eto na, Eto na nga! Bumabalik na! Tse!