Relax.. See A Movie

Editrixia Gomez named Moulin Rouge as his No. 1 film. Apocalypse Now is Nam's Movie of the Month. , Pat writes about Kimmy-Dora, Kawadjan is loving Inglorious Basterds to bits, and Yajnat has just finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic.

Movies they blog. I should blog about too. Sorry but this may bore you. It's just one of those moments where you want to blog but there is nothing to blog about. Those bloggers above inspired me to write about movies I like. Thanks for the view. 

The recipe for a perfect movie para kay Lyka Bergen.

1. Dark/Tragic  

I always like the feeling of being heavy-hearted after watching a film. Call me a masochist. I enjoy pain. Emotional pain. It's always the poignant journey which is important for me than the destination itself. A happy ending is not my basis for a good movie. 

Lars von Trier's Dogville and Dancer in the Dark plus Gus Van Sant's Elephant

2. Intelligent/Crazy

I enjoy those thought-provoking films where you should think to analyze the anatomy of the whole. Films which you need to see more than once to appreciate and understand. It is like examining Piolo's homosexuality. Parang ganon.

 

David Lynch's Mulholland Drive, Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream, and  M. Knight Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense

3. Multiple Characters 

My story. Your story. Plus the story of your neighbor's kerida and her manicurita's: interweave all and we'll have a beautiful basket of a plot. That makes a halo-halo palatable (without the beans pls!). 

Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia, Paul Haggis' Crash, and Stephen Daldry's The Hours

4. Strange/Bizarre

Those films without any easy answers, or answers at all and forces us to search for a deeper meaning. Where to grasp is hard, but worth once held. You know, yung mga kakalokang pelikula! Those films only Miriam Santiago can decipher straightaway.

The Triplets of Belleville; Stanley Kubrik's A Clockwork Orange; and Donnie Darko

5. Children

If there is one thing that can easily makes me smile, and cry, that would be Children. Aren't they cute? And once they're hurt, wouldn't you be dejected? You see, when a child is strained, he or she would move on instantly like nothing happened after. Noticed nyo?

Czech's Kolya, Iran's Children of Heaven, Brazil's Central Station 

6.  Reasonable Violence

Violence is an art-form according to National Artist Carlo Caparas. LOL. But am not talking about his crap. Violence is like Sex. Painful yet breathtaking. Especially when it is done beautifully. With taste! And with no Kris. And the baseball cap.

City Of God, American History X, and Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Series

7. Dysfunctional Family

I wonder why? Maybe because my BFF's dad was caught with their gardener in bed naked by his mahjongera wife; A teen sis who is bulimic; a straight bro who is obsessed with Enya; and himself who dresses up girly for the barangay fiesta? Interesting di ba?

American Beauty, The Squid and the Whale, and The Royal Tenenbaums

8. Meryl Streep

She is the movie itself. The best living actress, or for all-time, it is. She is the ultimate gay-icon for me because she can play anyone, including Rosemarie Sonora if you want her to. Ricky Belmonte would have loved her! (In a very gay way possible!) 

The Devil Wears Prada, Charlie Kaufmann's Adaptation, and Death Becomes Her. 

9. Striking Cinematography

I love pictures! I also love pictures in motion! Just like those from Harry Potter's picture albums. Cinematography counts a lot in a movie. It makes the film an art-form that you can get for $15 only. The cheapest art you can get! 

Akira Kurosawa's Dreams, Tim Burton's Big Fish; and Alfonso Cuaron's Children Of Men

10. Gay

Of course! But not all. Only those with substance. Sex and naked men optional. As long as it can deliver. Those with charismatic characters played by real actors. Made not for the sake of teasing us with those  amateur Pinoy hot bodies. Dyahe yun!

Eytan Fox's Yossi and Jagger, Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain; and Spain's Segunda Piel.

Kung walang magawa, Relax... See a movie (and blog about it after!). OK?  Tse! (This post reminds me of Lyka's Tragedy. Ka-etchosang gawa ko noon. Haaay!) 

Dyed-In-The-Wool Fashion

Malvin Vien, who recently got eliminated from Project Runway 6 in their Rebecca Romjin Pregnant Challenge, says it all about American fashion. Talking about his design....

" It is too conceptual for America". 

"All the other designers are pretty much similar, ... I think they just haven't found it yet, and haven't cracked the egg, so to speak". 

Although I didn't like his look that much, he should have been saved for his abstraction and for just being different. Even Nina Garcia says, "It's bizarre!" (maybe in a negative way, but still....).

All right, I am not saying this because Malvin is Asian. (I know that recently i have issues with some Asian exclusions in some trivial American contest). I am just strongly agreeing on what he did say about American Fashion. I, thank you. 

Speaking of being Asian, Monique Lhuiller doesnt look like she is our sister, or half-sister at all! Wat Haypen? 

Just a thought, Can we make sanla my Mom's vintage wedding dress at any M. Lhuillier branches nationwide for my nephew's tuition? Tse!

-----O-----

But wait! Would this be the next new thing in Fashion? And it's from Ashton! Yes! Demi's Ashton!

No Asians For Beauty

Asians are cool alluring people! How dare them frozen us out like that. Tse nila! (Jokla lang! Bitter-bitteran lang. Asos!) [Photo Credit: Vanity Fair - Italia May 2009]

Tall, Dark, and Gorgeous

"Tall Dark, and Gorgeous" are the three words Madam Damdiva gave us when asked who will be crowned Miss Universe this year. 

Madam Damdiva is a popular psychic from Dumarao, Capiz. She is half human, half Engkanto. She became famous for predicting the Fall of Lotlot and the Bloating of Janice de Belen. She also predicted that Fuchsiaboy will reach 30 a virgin (and we're almost there!) 

"Tall, Dark, and Gorgeous". We think of these girls......

Dominican Republic, France, and South Africa

She'd better be right, or else these girls will prove her wrong.

Kosovo, The Netherlands, and Spain

Asked if there will be surprises this year, she replied with her usual three-word prophecy: Calachuchi, Rose and Gumamela. Oh yeah, we got that: A Chekwa, A red-haired beauty, and that country that sounds like Gumamela. 

China, Great Britain, and Guatemala

How about this year's surprise exclusion? She replied: Isabel Granada, Frieda Kahlo, and Lea Salonga. WTF? Bruhang toh! (Kilala si Frida Kahlo!) But maybe she's right with: 

Puerto Rico, Mexico, and Vietnam

Whatever Madam Damdiva says, we just hope that these three fabulous ladies below will make the cut: The girls with the umbrellas and the one with the pana! 

Philippines, Indonesia, and Belgium

Final Question: Is it all right for a woman, and a Miss Universe on top of that, to pose topless in a magazine? Why or why not? Gooooo!

LTE's Seventeen - Aug 09

Joseph Gordon-Levitt's everyday man appeal in 500 Days of Summer.

Maddox Jolie-Pitt as today's youngest fashion icon.

Atonement's Soairse Ronan snippets in The Lovely Bones trailer.

Asian cutie-pie Lee Young-Hoon in Korea's 2008 film, No Regret.

Fashion designer Rajo Laurel's rise, blotting out Inno Sotto. 

Model Daul Kim's Asian blonde hair in Zoo Magazine and...

Ms Colombia, Michelle Rouillard's oddball Beauty Pageant short hair. 

Ponyo's Hayao Miyazaki's imagination and creative power.

Kate Moss in the cover of British Vogue's September Issue and...

the Pinay who designed her statement necklace, Bea Valdes.

Novelist Steve Berry's Dan Brownish thrilling books.

The electronica groove Nathan Fake brings us.

And yes! Meryl Streep as Julia Childs. 

The Twilight saga's Taylor Lautner's new moon muscles. 

Choreographer Tyce Diorio's SYTYCD's Cancer Dance.

Tita Cory Aquino's Legacy .....

and

James Yap at the wake. 

(LTE's Seventeen is a list of the sisters' Favorite People of the month). 

Who Is Kelly Carson?

(This post is taken from another blog I read in passing. The writer is talking about our beloved step-sister, Kelly).

-----O-----

Kelly Carson. I will not describe her. You who do not know her will not know her through here. Just recently Galo, close friend of mine bumped into her by accident. This was the scene.

Galo slowly pulled up the aluminum chair making an irritating clanging sound. The people in the restaurant did not seem to have noticed the noise he was making. Almost all 14 tables in the outdoor restaurant were occupied; chatting people here and there and the occasional sound of an automobile engine cruising by. He was meticulously ordering his Macchiato and a pack of Winston lights, when suddenly a deep female voice whispered in his ear.

“I’m not a slut, but I’d like to sit with you.”

Galo never spoke a word. He just looked at her with disambiguation.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She positioned herself across him, pulled up her own more-irritating-clang-sounding chair and held out her hand. “I’m Kelly Carson.” She greeted with a broad smile.

Galo, apathetic.

Kelly took back her hand. She motioned the waiter who was still standing beside Galo and asked for a bottle of distilled water.

“You don’t know me.” She took out her pack of Marlboro Lights Blue and lit it. An ashtray landed almost immediately on the table. Galo’s Winston Lights arrived.

“I knew you smoked.” Kelly blew smoke away from Galo. “It is just written all over your face.” She smiled.

“Do you have anything better than that?” Galo felt the distinct edges of Winston.

“Oh yeah.” She tapped her cigarette on the ash tray and sucked on it. “If I were gay, I’d suck you off.” She blew the smoke slowly with her eyes on Galo.

“Flop.” Galo’s voice cracked in the boredom.

“You’re difficult.”

“You have no idea.”

“What’s your problem?!?”

“I know you.”

Kelly shrugged. “You expect me to be happy about it?”

“I don’t want you in my table.”

“Why?” Kelly laughed out. “What are you gonna do? Kick me off of my chair?” Kelly laughed louder.

Galo lit a cigarette as his coffee and her bottled water were served. He blew off the smoke then soaked his cigarette on the white foam of his coffee. Kelly was baffled as she looked at what he was doing. Kelly leaned back and pretended not to be worried about what he was doing.

“My problem is I know you and you don’t know me.” Galo took out his wallet and placed money for his bill. “You can’t compete with someone you have no idea about.”

“I want you down.” Kelly was not paying attention to him anymore. Kelly was watching a guy who just walked in wearing a distinctively Versace black suit.

“You way too far below to reach me and pull me down.” Galo moved his chair back

Kelly turned to him. “Really, now?”

“Yeah.” Galo stood up. “And seriously, get a better pick up line.” Galo slowly walked away from the table.

She was still looking at Galo when the guy in Versace turned to him and uttered something. He was standing at the bar by the entrance door. With his back to her, Galo did not seem to react to what the guy was saying. Kelly sat up tall, intrigued by the silent scene.

Galo reached for the handle of the garden fence that surrounded the restaurant and turned to Kelly. He smiled and left.

The Versace guy followed.

“God I’m getting old.” She looked at the familiar dance of smoke. She thought of Lyka.

-----O-----

(I have nothing to say. I just miss my beloved step-sister, Kelly!)

Shooting Stars

There is something about our Celebrities. Something beautiful... not necessarily from the outside. It comes largely from within. Even Hal Holbrook looks wonderful. I dream to be one. Watch:



Or maybe the music deceived my contemplation, again.

LTE's Miss Universe 2009

Have you seen it yet mga Bakla? Of course you did! The Miss Universe Website is up and running again with pictures and interview videos of this year's global candidates. 

Sino ba naman ang LTE na di makisali. Mga Pinoy bading kami, noh! Hello? Lets play Judge Judas. 

Best Gowns:

Israel, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Japan, Norway

We all know naman that most of the gowns presented were horrible anoh. These are our five best amongst those hideous curtainauseous evening dresses. We chose Israel as winner for being unpretentious, Colombia(2nd) for just being right, Puerto Rico's (3rd) because of her Pilita's bend, Japan(4th) for bringing real fashion to this pageant and Norway(5th) for its austerity.

Top 10

Well, heck with the gowns. Let's go to the real tournament of beauty. Here is our Top 10 candidates for Miss Universe 2009 (basing from the official website)....... 

Paraguay (8th), Jamaica (9th), Czech Republic (10th)

Albania (5th), Australia (6th), Dominican Republic (7th)

Colombia (2nd), Indonesia (3rd), Sweden (4th)

And this year's Miss Universe (according to the LTE sisters) is..........

Yep! we are still more into personality than sex appeal. Britain's Clair Cooper's interview and charisma made us decide to name her our LTE's Miss Universe for this year. Kulang man ang tambok ng boobs nya, umaapaw naman ang pagiging tunay nya! Congratulations!

Former LTE Misses Universe

Belgium 2008 and Guatemala 2007

Both didnt make it to the semi-finals. We're pretty sure Britain 2009 will also not be included in this year's list. LTE's Miss Universe is not a Donald Trump sex doll. Charooooot! 

PRP Time Na!

Meet the new characters of Project Runway - Philippines. Excited na aketch! ETC, make it work!

Jas Cristobal (Valenzuela), Russell Villafuerte (Antique), Tracy Dizon (Quezon City)

Randy Leano (Laoag), Patrick Galang (Laguna), Hazel Sta. Ana (Pasig)

Santi Obcena (Quezon City), Meanne Santos (Cavite), Richie Bondoc (Pampanga), Cherry Veric (Saudi Arabia)

Manny Marquez (Laguna), Pau Geronimo (Pasay City), and Hanz Coquilla (Cebu)

Designers, I have 1 white Kumot and 100 Good Morning Towelettes for each one of you. You can dye and color your fabric as you like. Your challenge is to make a red carpet Gown for Angeli Bayani to wear at 2009 Gawad URIAN Awards. Now, Goooooo! 

-----O-----

And the winning look. (Charot Lang!)

Ms. Angeli Bayani, Best Actress Nominee for Lav Diaz's Melancholia at the 2009 Gawad Urian Awards. Congratulations! 

(Visit Project Runway-Philippines Season 2's home page for updates. And like PRP's host Teresa Herrera would deliver..... I say,  "Ingat!")

Putang Ina Mo, Willie!

Kung may tao akong gustong sapakin ngayon, ito ay si Willie Revillame. Putang Ina nya! Watch nyo na lang ang youtube video na toh para ma intindihan nyo ang sinasabi ko.



Hinde pa nagyari ito, one of the hated people ko na ang gagong Willie na to. I remember ng nag guest noon ang batang Shaina Magdayao sa isang show nya, sabi nya "Pwede na to! 5 years from now, pwede na to!" 13 yrs old pa lang ata ang Shaina noon. Puta! National TV ito, ungas! Noon pa lang gusto ko na syang ipapatay. Gago sya! Gago!

Ayan! Ayan ang lecheng idol ninyo! Magsama kayo sa ka-cheapan at walang etiquette na kabaduyan. Puta! Nasira ang gabi ko! Ayan ABS-CBN! Yan ang napala nyo sa milyong binabayad nyo sa gagong ito! Pwe! Kay Willie! Pwe sa ABS-CBN! Pwe! 

(This is Lyka B. channeling Mar Roxas to the max).

Miss Guatemala Stumbles

I wonder what happened. I used to be like anyone else. Looking for sex wherever, whenever. From the bars and movie houses of Iloilo, to the streets and the beaches of Dubai, and through the internet in Detroit. This usually happens when Im bored and has nothing to do. ... which was quite often then.  

I used to enjoy it. Big bang, thank you man then proceed to the next one without any affection or guilt. It was like playing a character in QAF. 

Pleasure in a jiffy. All gone. What happened?

Maybe I lost confidence. With a potbelly and a pair of man boobs, I hated myself looking at the mirror naked. Or possibly it is all hormonal. At my age, Stella needs to get her groove back. Or for all one knows, I had enough. Or maybe not yet. 

I am looking for 'something' but i dunno what it is. That something other than a sexual hook-up that can make me float up high. That thing that can make me stare at the wall for a while and smile. 

'Attachment'.... that could be the word fitting for that 'something' I am looking for. Attachment wherein sex is not the highest priority. A bond that cannot be broken by looks, size, and performance. That 'something', you gays! I know you know what i mean.

Its been a while. I dont wanna fall asleep and get up realizing its too late. I need a rockstar! 

(This thought came up after declining an invitation from one of my crushes around the bend. He asked me for a casual you-know-what, i gave it a thumbs down cause i wanted a dinner date instead. Call me silly. I have my reason. Tse!). 

My point is... for you to answer this:

If you were a living Kamagong Tree that can talk, what would you say to the people of the world? 

Miss Guatemala.... Gooooo!