Oink! Oink!

"Oink! Oink!"

Yan ang tone ng Globe roaming phone ko kung may message akong matatannggap. 

After I got back here in SF from my Pinas vacation, i had a lot of "Oink! Oink!" received. Almost everyday hanggang ngayon at sa isang tao lang galing to. Sya ang taong iniwan ko sa Pinas ng nag-bakasyon ako doon. Madami ring nangyari sa amin doon... almost everyday during my 2-week stay there kaming nagsama. Everyday ang landian. Everyday ang you-know-what. 

Txt ng Txt si loko.....

Day 1: "I Love you. I miss you already". 

Sino ang di kikiligin nyan? 

Day 2: "You know what, I love you na talaga"

Aba.... napa-smile ako

Day 5: "Akin ka lang ha. I love you. Muah3X"

Day 6: "Palangga, u r always n my mind. Love you! Muah3x"

Paniwalang paniwala ako dito ha. And it goes on and on. 

Day 10: "Miss you so much! I love you!"

Day 15: "I Love you! I Love You! I Love you! Muah3x""

Teka nga muna.... bakit parang di na ako nasisiyahan. Bat parang di na ako naniniwala. Templated na ata ang I Love You's nito ah? Everyday, yan lang ang masasabi? 

Day 16: " I love you, Palangga! Miss U! Muah3x"

Leche! I txted him to stop it. He told me he's just telling me how he feels. I told him its irritating na and it doesnt sound sincere anymore.

Day 17: "Dont say goodbye pls. I love you that much!"

I really need time to think about this. Yeah, medyo nahulog na rin ako sa kanya, admit ko yan, kahit nandoon pa lang ako at di pa nakauwi dito. 

Pero di ko na makaya ang pattern ng mga txt messages nya. I am doubting na the genuineness ng mga txts na toh. Niloloko ata ako nito eh? 

"Oink! Oink!"

Ayan na naman sya.... alam ko na kung ano ang laman ng txt message na to. Di ko na dapat basahin pa. Leche! 

-----O-----

Minsan, dasal lang tayo ng dasal ng ating "Our Father's" at "Hail Mary's" at di natin namamalayan na di pala galing sa mga puso natin ang nire-recite nating prayers na to. Minsan, 10 times pang pa ulit ulit as instructed by our parish priest. Minsan, pabilisan lang. Minsan nakisabay lang sa iba for the sake of praying lang talaga. Masisiyahan ba ang ating panginoon nyan sa langit? 

Madafa Ka 2

Black and White II: The Don aka Fuchsiaboy

by Lyka Bergen

To Whom It May Concern,

I dont get Ekra's take on The Don in Black and White (see previous post). Just like Jezebel on Kawadjan, I respond with disgust and a nauseous photographic malabsorption. I cannot stomach the angles, lighting, composition, and gosh, where is the Dramatics?

Remorse to the delight and praise Ekra is getting from such clueless public. What a shame!

Dont get me wrong, I am no professional photographer but the subject, Fuchsiaboy, looks more notable and high fashion in my photos. If you dont agree, you will never get a chance to spin the wheel to win! Tse!

To my beloved step-sister Ekra, I echo Jezebel's two wise words...... in English:

Madafa Ka!

Lovingly yours,

Lyka

----O----

Disclaimer: Chika lang!!!!! For competition sake lang ito. Para may scandal na bago. Love ko yang sister Ekra ko. Ching lang ang sulat above. Ano ba? Hello?

Anyways, here's my take on Project: Fuchsiaboy in Black and White.

"The Disordered Wall of Bi-Polarity"

"The Look of Silence"

"My Toes, My Knees.....

....... My Shoulder, My Neck!"

The Khan Look: Genghis and Kublai (pwede rin si Odette)

"Carry My Lovely"

More of Fuchsiaboy's Elements:

Gay, Bi-Curious, and Straight-Acting

Thanks Fuchsiaboy for your face & effort. Winner ka!

Ang sabi nga ng inggeterang Kawadjan: Nag sex raw ang Kapre at Nuno sa punso. Bottom ang Kapre.... and the product? The unique features of our precious Fuchsiaboy! Bravoooo!

Black & White Diva

In response to Kawadjan's recent supermodel status, and Jezebel Patel's Guantanamo Bay haircut invasion, I had to lay down the cards of our very own fashion designer extraordinaire FuchshiaBoy (a.k.a Don Protasio) as well.  He thinks Kawadjan's images were not fierce enough, and implies that his are more interesting and multi-faceted.  Parang gripo. Wala pa siang reaction to Patel's Chemo Look. Chos!

I took his photos when we were touring the temples of Angkor (butter) and local Siem Reap scenes. Matangkad din ang lokah at di rin patatalo ang kanyang hunchback poses at dagger eyes in front of the camera.  As in no second thoughts pag sinabihan mong tumuwad at mag pose kung saan saan.

So mga bakla,  drum roll na cos here's contestant number 3, Miss Intrigera, Miss Isnabera, Miss Siem Reap 1982, Miss FuchsiaBoy DON PROTASIO!!!  Fuchsiang ina nio!

Demure daw pero hwag niong kamutin, la-lala!

Catwoman without the costume.

Waiting for love or nalipasan lang ng gutom look.

Boxing Helena pose

Bihira mag smile pero ngiting aso naman ang bira!

AND SOME MORE FIERCE SHOTS

FROM FIERCE BROSNAN. CHOS!

LUCY LIU! I LOVE!

I LOVE THIS LOOK A LOT!

BLACK & WHITE DIVA INDEED!

So there goes FuchsiaBoy, and his Black & White photo shoot. Laitan begins now, text ur vote to 1-800-LTEMODELS or call Rue Paul's Drag Race, and vote for your favorite model. Para hindi naman laging black and white ang suot ng DonYa, binigyan din sia ng LTE ng kulay asul na tisert galing sa ukay ukay ni Marc Jacobs. Wala si Kawadjan doon nung binili namin ito, malamang naglalako ng gulay sa Nepa Q Mart that day.  Chos!

O sha tama na muna ang pictorials, at duling na ang mga mata ketch.  Date muna kami ng fafa ko sa symphony. Tseh! I will read your comments with great expectation like labor during childbirth. Tseh uli!

Ekrahhh.

Ang Kawayan... Bow!

EKRA ALERT!

One of the stars of the Thailand visit was Miss Independent, Miss Congeniality, Miss Photogenic, Miss Understood, Miss KAWADJAN!!!

Camera ready ang fotah as I took pics of her sa Reclining Buddha Temple and surrounding areas. Recline ako ng recline para lang makuha ang best angles ni Miss Tapia.  Bongga ang jawline at walang effort mag pout, therefore she is, as her blog announces.    

So without much further ado about this nothingness, here is something that can give Sugar and Nicole a run for their career.  Take note, walang wigelyas o make up ito.  Pure Beauty lang.  

Enjoy the pics!

Love,

Ekra

PRESENTING... THAILAND'S PRIDE & JOY!

One of my faves. Classic Kuh Ledesma daw.

Ba ewan ko, wala naman si Darna sa taas!

Uhm Hmmm!

The power of semi-pout lips.

Huwag po kuya.. Huwag po!

AND HERE'S MORE...

Ayan, kayo na ang humusga.  According to Fuchsiaboy, not fierce enough daw (may halong inggit).  At nang intriga pang may hidden desire daw ako kay Kawadjan.  Pati si Lyka may intrigang ganyan sa akin. Tseh!  Dahlings, she is just a force of nature, beautiful inside out.  Pero actually this is what she looked like when we first met:

Yes, skandalosa sia ng slight, parang naka kita ng ukay ukay ng Balenciaga at Marc Jacobs ang bruha.  Paano naman eh buong araw nia kasama ang kanyang nanay, na hanggang pwet ang haba ng hair.  Mana sa ina nga naman!

That's all mga bakels.  Sa uulitin... 

Ekra.

Sisters Ekra and Jezebel's Video

This is a conversation between sisters Ekra Tan and Jezebel Patel outside a movie house in Market Street after watching I Love You Man. Video captured by xtranormal.



(You can make your own xtranormal video here).

Puzzle(D) for Kid

Distance:

Dito ako at dyan ka. Paano mag work to? Every year? Every six months? In 30 days? In 2 weeks? Sana kung nasa Manila lang ako or Cebu every weekend uuwi ako for you dyan sa Molo. Pero....nasa San Francisco ako. Kakain na lang ako ng Pancit Molo. Sabi nila, sa lahat ng Distance Love, Trust lang kailangan, pero sorry, hinahanap ko pa to. Buti pa si Mama O, ang dami nito. Trust lang ang gamit nya, variety pa ang kulay. 

Age:

14 years? Nasa HS na ako ng pinanganak ka. Alam ko na na hindi flat ang mundo nun at ikaw, lights and shadows pa lang ang makikita mo. Sinabi mong parang mas matanda ka pa sa akin ngayon kung ako'y mag-drama. Tama ka.... di rin ako masyadong ma-drama noon ng ako'y 22. Di ko na kilala ang mga sikat na banda na sinasabi mo; Di ko na sinasayawan ang mga tugtug na gusto mo; Abercrombie and Fitch ang gusto mo, Banana Republic ako. 

Rapidity:

Ilang araw lang ba tayong nagsama at bakit sinasabi mong love mo na ako? Yeah, we met last year pero dalawang araw lang yun. Ang bilis di ba? Di mo pa nga alam kung ano ang favorite color ko. And during the time I was there, di naman tayo magkasama palagi dahil may work ka. Kung minsan, di ko na alam kung totoo ang sinasabi mong nararamdaman mo. Ang bilis kasi. 

Resources:

Magastos. Ang tawagan natin almost araw araw and you even want me to answer your calls? I dont want you to spend too much coz i know you work a lot for your personal expenses. Texting is much cheap but still. I was thinking of going home every six months for you, but I am not that rich. Kung mayaman lang sana tayo.

Yearning:

I cannot even touch you for a year. Ano ba yan? I miss our yakapan every night when I was there. Buti na lang di nagtatanong ang Nanay ko kung saan ako natulog at kung bakit umaga na akong umuuwi. Ngayon, Mahirap! Wala ka na sa tabi ko. Sometimes I long for a touch instead of a call. Can I wait for another year? Or maybe, the question should be: Can you wait? That worries me, kasi i know daming may gusto sa yo, pero ewan. 

Love:

Pero, yeah. What can i do? Love kita. At napag-isip ako, baka tama nga ang sinasabi mong nararamdaman mo dahil nararamdaman ko rin to. Posible, posible ang lahat. Pero...... tama kayang ipagpatuloy natin to?

I Am No Dancer

Hey [G]!

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance,
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye
Wish you well!

-The Killer(s) of Hope

Punk'd

I want to shoot myself tonight for masterminding this practical joke. Mama O and I thought it will be fun but it turned out to be a disaster. Everyone lost in this stupid and purposeless game, including myself. 

Yes, I ruined a relationship and hated myself for it. Call me anything upsetting you want. I deserve it. But it was never my intention to mess up things like this. I never thought it will end up this way. It was a practical joke gone bad. I punk'd myself and I learned my lesson.

----O----

To T. and K.,

Please accept my most sincere apology for my behavior. I have thought hard about what happened and cannot sleep tonight because of guilt (and the only way to alleviate this is to write you this letter). I realize how very angry you both must have been. 

I am really sorry for creating this situation. I admit that I was in the wrong and can only say how sorry I am. 

I understand that it might be difficult for you to accept my apology (especially to you, K). I hope I can apologize to you in person and wish you will be able to give me a chance to prove to you that I am not the person you've described me in your email. 

You just dont know how much I adore you both.

-A.

PS. And I am sorry for writing this letter here and you both know the reason why. 

Who Wants To be the Next Ria Bolivar?

Remember Project: Nicole? Yeeeees, she's back! This time with a newbie tsupa-model and friend, Sugar. Here, they participate in the new LTE Search: Who Wants to be the Next Ria Bolivar? 

"Waiting for Godot"

Nicole(left) has strong poses and her strength is her ability to connect to the camera while Sugar(right) has a pretty face and a towering height. Who's your bet? Lets find out (click photos for a larger view):

Part 1: BLACK

NICOLE (Real Name: Nicanor Colimpang)

SUGAR (Real Name: Felicisimo Santo)

(Jokla lang ang mga real names. Chos lang! Tse!). Let's proceed.....

"The Circles Of Life (and Death)"

Part 2: PURPLE

Nicole: "The Virgin is my idol. Pray for me!"

Sugar: "The shoal should be on my neck, the cross on my cleavage!" 

"Death Becomes Her"

Part 3: RED

Sugar(left) and Nicole(right)

"Under Construction"

That's it girls! Any suggestions for the two young tsupa-models to improve and polish their abilities to be the next Ria Bolivar? Pos and Neg Criticisms will be very much appreciated.

Thank you, girls for the time and effort. You both did well! Mabuhay ka Nicole! Mabuhay ka Sugar!  Mabuhay and mga bading supermodels! 

Models: Nicole and Sugar

Location: Molo Cemetery and 

Ateneo de Iloilo Construction Site.

Clothes by: The House of Karma

Make Up by: Nicole, Sugar, Chino-Pa, and Karma

Photos by: Lyka Bergen