Thursday, July 30, 2009

Pitoy Mo 'Eh!


National Artist na ang Lola ninyo! Mag-bigay pugay mga Bakla! 

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Lyka's "Dose"


Sila ang sampung mga lalaki sa buhay ko.... ng ako ay nasa Grade 6.

1. Richard Gere
2. Lito Gruet
3. Corey Haim
4. Emil Sandoval
5. Corey Hart
6. Gabby Concepcion
7. Christopher Reeve
8. Miguel Rodriguez
9. Tony Danza
10. Julio Diaz

-----O-----

Si, Mark, kasama ko sa trabaho... di tunay na pangalan. Di kami masyadong busy kaya napatanong sya sa akin: "Sino ba ang babae na pinapantasyahan mo noon ng bata ka pa?" 

Kung totoo lang ako kay Mark, sampu ang nasa listahan ko. Sila ay di ko makakalimutan ever emporium. Si Richard Gere, na walang pelikula noon na di sya nakahubad: American Gigolo, Breathless, at No Mercy. Di ko makalimutan ang pagpo-pause ko ng betamax namin  noon. Si Lito Gruet. Ang close-up smile nya  at ang Hubo sa Dilim. Si Corey  Haim na super crush ko sa The Lost Boys. Ang Kulasisi ni Emil Sandoval. Ang boses at fez ng Corey Hart. Ang cover ng Kislap Magazine na naka trunks lang si Gabby Concepcion. Ang bukol ni Superman (Christopher Reeve). At ang kanyang pinoy version na si Miguel Rodriguez sa Virgin Forest. Ang cute na Tony Danza sa Who's The Boss, at ang short demin shorts ni Julio Diaz sa Takaw-Tukso

Sila! Sila ang mga lalaking pinapantasyahan ko noon ng ako'y dose pa lamang. And yes, baklang bakla na ako noon. At obviosang matanda na ngayon para sa mga batang wiz kilala ang karamihan sa aking listahan. (At Oo na! Dalawa na ang patay sa kanila! Tse!) Di ko sila makakalimutan at si Mark kasi, tanong pa ng tanong.

Dahil hinde pa ako Out kay Mark, iba ang sagot ko sa tanong nya.... 

"Si Phoebe Cates!" (Sabay alis at nagpakunwaring busy!) 

Friday, July 24, 2009

LTE's Seventeen



This is LTE's Seventeen: LTE's Favorite People of the Month

Michael C Hall as the blood-spatter pro & Serial killer Dexter.
Sufjan Stevens for his symphonic electronica-folk Music.
Ria Bolivar for those fierce Editorial pics, Pinoy style.
Australia's Next Top Model's Cassi Van Den Dungen's look.
Eugene Domingo in Kimi Dora. (Finally!)
Kanye West for embracing Fashion.
The Fashion Show's James Paul Ancheta's Final collection.
Du Juan as the torch-bearer for Asian Models.
So You Think You Can Dance's host Cat Deeley's witty class and..
contestant Jason Glover for the Sex and Charm in the dancefloor. 
Blogger friend Kawadjan May for being a bitch.
Damien Rice for giving us 9 Crimes.
Musician Maxwell's sex appeal. Period.
Jessie Cave as the riotous Lavender Brown in Harry Potter 6
New-comer Brooke Elliot in Drop Dead Diva.
Roderick Paulate playing Gay again in Ded na si Lolo.

and

Piolo Pascual in OJ Bench TV Commercial.

-----O------

These are the People who made our Month. They define who we are and what we like and do. Our taste, style and our little guilty pleasures. So, do you have your own Seventeen list? Post it so we can find out how baduy are you. Charooot! Tse!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Philippine Beaching


Cagbalete in Quezon Province (Photo by Ian Felix Alquiros

Tired of Boracay, Palawan, Cebu, Pagudpud, Bohol, Dakak, Camiguin and Puerto Galera? Or cannot afford a trip to Amanpulo? When it comes to beaching, the Philippines has more to offer.

Welcome to the new Pinoy beach destinations with more exotic names this time. Here is Enya singing.... 

Let me sail Let me sail Let the Caramoan Flow.
Let me reach, Let me beach on the shores of Puraran
Putipot, Lakawon, let me crash upon your shores
From Daku to Agho... Sail Away! Sail Away! Sail Away! 
 

Island Buenavista in Davao + Daku Island in Surigao 


Putipot in Zambales + Digyo in Leyte


Puraran in Cantanduanes + Caramoan in Camarines Sur 


San Juan Beach in Siquijor + Agho in Iloilo


Lakawon in Negros Occidental + Quezon Beach in Sulu


Esperanza in Masbate + Maripipi in Biliran

Now, I am wondering why I did go to Krabi, Thailand for beaching my soul up when I have these beautiful Islands in my own country. Maybe 'coz, I have never heard of them! Our DOT has a lot to explain. 

"Carry me, on the waves to the lands I've never been"

Yeeees! Love your own beaches, bitches! First stop.... MARIPIPI!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Kermit Is Dead



There she is... The new Style Icon with her green Kermit the Frog jacket. Style.com suggested that Lady Gaga's personal style has influenced a great many designers of today. (See it here). 

"And if thou refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite all thy borders with frogs." Exodus 8:2

Monday, July 20, 2009

Heidi, you rock!

Challenging ang summer in San Francisco. Bongga man ang forecast ng weatherman - kalamigan pa din during most of the day. The trained locals know when to truly head to the beach - parang alarm clock ng Lyka Jean; nagwawala every morning kahit hindi naman nya kailangang bumangon at that time. 

Noong nakalipas na Sunday, may plano ang mga sisterettes to watch Harry Potter. Since later in the afternoon pa naman ang takdang showing - i decided to take a hike and head to the beach in the morning. Mega prepared and lola, with matching shorts and sun screen. When i got to the beach, humilata na agad at nagsunbathe.

Kasama ko nuong panahong iyon ang isang bagong kaibigan. Humilata kami pareho at sinimulan ang kwentuhan galore. Matindi ang bulong ng sunlight at napaidlip ang mga diwata. Natusta ang aking likod, while my front wasn't tan enough. Lumipas ang horas at nakalimutan ang earlier plan to watch Harry Potah with the girls.. potah ka harry.

I was looking forward to watching the movie with the step-sisters. Nadismaya akez and nahiya for being so careless and irresponsible. When i checked my phone, it was too late na and they were about the see the film already. Hindi nakakatuwa ang feeling..

My very own ABA! Moment:

When we intend to sunbathe and get a good natural tan, we go to the park, the beach or wherever may access ang sunlight. Mega apply ka man ng sunblock, if the exposure wasn't fair and properly divided - the end result wont be grandstanding. The amount of time spent for the back, should be similar, if not the same for the front para tama ang tusta. It may never be perfect, nor well-coordinated - nadadaan naman sa tanchahan ang skin-baking. Napasobra man sa likod - pwede namang bumawi for the front para equal ang bira. 

Ganyan din sa sisterhood: when we overexpose the back, the front wont have the same quality of bronzeness. Tamang timpla para bongga ang resulta. Ano mang willingness ng mga kapatid to be understanding, supportive and appreciative - nararapat lang na enough din ang horas na dedicated for them..

May balitang wala raw ang mga Patels sa HP6 - literal din na wala ang Patel sa viewing. Paumanhin po sa ina at sa nakatatandang kapatid. Sa susunod po muli..

Love and Devotion, 
Jezebel Patel

Friday, July 17, 2009

Bakla-itan

I love Ricky Gervais. Ang pang-inis and everything. Ang carino brutal. Ang kalokohang di mapantayan. Eto sya:



Gabi na. Tawa ako ng tawa. Ewan ko ba. Simpleng komedya pero nakaka-iba. Tayo kasing mga bakla, mahilig mang-lait. Masaya. Kaloka. Diva?

Katulad nito:

Location: Sa aming maliit na Gym sa Garage

1. Si Jezebel after ako'y naghubad ng shirt: "Aaay! Lyka, nag pi-pills ka ba dati?"

(Putah ka talagah Jezebel! Tse!)

2. Ako on Mama O's discolored scar sa mid-chest: "Ang ganda naman ng pendant mo Mama O".

3. At si Mama O on Jezebel after nag body-builder pose at pinakita ang Biceps: (After a short Giggle) "Girl ka pa rin 'day!"

Bakla-itan galore! Bakit kaya tuwang tuwa tayong mga bading sa panglala-it? Part na ata ito ng kabadingan world. Vaaakit? Paki-explain! 

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Tatlong Itlog

One thing I lyk living with Mama O and Jezebel in one house is we share everything: Secrets, high heels, and food. Kung ano man ang nabili mo sa tindihan at nilagay sa fridge or sa cabinet, ito ay for everyone na. Bahala ka kahit porterhouses pa yan. 

I just got back from work tonight at walang katao-tao. Tulog na ang Jeze at ang Mama O naman ay nasa second job nya na. Walang makain? At eto ang bumati sa akin sa dining table.....



Thank you Jezza for your eggs but they look so maputi... di ko type! Chos! I left you half of my watermelon sa fridge. Mapula sya! Tse!

The only thing we dont share to each other: MEN. Amen!  

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Islands Kodakan


"Palawan" by Jace Rivers

The photo above by Jace Rivers won the Grand Prize at the 20th Annual Islands Magazine Photo Contest presented on their June 2009 issue. Here is what Jace has to say:

"I almost threw in the towel this particular evening since it had been raining. I was walking on El Nido Bay, and the sun came out at this moment. The water was shallow with the tide out, so it created this spectacular mirror effect. One villager collecting mollusks was silhouetted right in the middle of the frame. A lot of times, you have to get yourself in a situation where photos like this can happen. But sometimes they happen for you."

Yes! Kaka-inspire. Ang ganda! Kailangan ko na ring kumuha ng pictures ulit. Haaaaay! Strike a pose... Click!

The Runners-Up:

First Place: 'Jamaica' by Hal Myers

Second Place: "Puerto Rico" by Greg Sullivan


Third Place: "Zanzibar" by Elizabeth Bailey


And the Miss Congeniality Award goes to......

"Siem Reap" by Lyka Bergen


Charooot! Kung knowing ko lang Oksana na may pa-contest na ganito, pinasali ko na yung "Siem Reap" picture ko na toh! Baka nanalo pa ako ng Von Einem Award for Child Pornography ditrek! Chos! Asos! Tse! 

The complete list of The Islands Winners here

Monday, July 6, 2009

Anita Linda Evangelista



Yes, the result is in, garnering 22 points..... we have a new TiTi Queen!!!!  They call her Bruha. They call her Gagah... That's not her name! That's not her name!

Her name is Kiks Geraldine Asis. 18, from the beautiful Islands of Kiks and Kikos!!!!

Her Anita Linda Evangelista comment swayed her to the top obscuring her peppermint green geometrical mermaid-cut Junya Wattanabe gown. 

The Winning Comment: (On Linda Evangelista) "Linda is still the best, reminds me of Anita!"

Anita Linda Evangelista

Combining two living Icons in one sentence is soooo baklish! And delivering it with pride and prejudice? Winner! This is what the TiTi is all about. Voguish and chi chi!

Kiks Geraldine Asis truly deserves the TiTi. She's got the look. She's got the wit. She got Anita Linda Evangelista's teeth!!! This is Kiks' third TiTi!!! Congratulations!

-----O-----

The Results:
Winner: Miss December (Kiks) - 22 Points
2nd Place: Miss May (Kawadjan) - 13 points
3rd Place: Miss January (Kiel) - 11 points

KKK wins! (Kiks, Kawadjan, and Kiel)  also known as Kilusan for the Kapayapaan of the Kabaklaan! Salute to the three of View. Until next Thyme. Magluluto pa ako ng Lasagna at manood ng Ang Babae sa Bubungang Lata starring Anita Linda. Chos! and Vavooo! 

(Visit Kiks' Blog here).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

TiTi Nominees: First Half 2009

The TiTi Award is Vack!

Sawa na ba kayo sa reigning TiTi Queen nating si Kiel Estrella? Gosh! More than 6 months din ang reign ng bruha ha! More than 6 months rin naka-display ang picture sa sidebar. Vengga!

Its time to find the next Queen (or maybe ma-extend pa ng Kiel ang pagiging reyna?) We'll see.

Dahil walang Titi since December 2008. LTE decided to grab the best comments made in this blog from each Month (Dec 2008 to June 2009) para sa ating mga nominees. The Search is on for the next TiTi Awardee.....

Here they are, our beautiful Nominees!!!!

Miss December 2008: Kiks

(On Linda Evangelista) "Linda is still the best. reminds me of Anita!"

LTE Says: Hahaha! Anita Linda is still the best nga talaga. Kahit mashonda na, trabaho pa rin ang lokah, just like Linda Evangeslista. Oh di ba? Dahil witty ka, Kiks bruha, nominated ka!


Miss January: Kiel Estrella

(On Spirituality) "When i was younger, I had a falling out with God and the Church after a priest made a pass when I asked for spiritual guidance. I thought if He is half as great as people say He is, He wouldn't have allowed such sordidness be committed by His messenger on earth. 

As I grew up I start to notice beauty in the world and see God. I witness uncommon heroism of common and start to believe that it is in our shared humanity (straight and gay both) where God resides".

LTE Says: Avaaa! Ang Kiel, humihirit pa rin kahit 6 months na ang reign nya as TiTi Queen. Iba talaga ang baklang may sense! Tse!


Miss February: Bryan Anthony

(On Moving On) "Naku, ang di mag move on... OTAWA. OA, TANGA, WALANG KWENTA!"

LTE Says: Dahil galit ka, Bryan... pasok ka! Kaya lang dear,  you sound na as if ikaw ang di naka move on. Charooot!


Miss March: Yajnat

(On the chisms na nag-sex sila ni Ekra sa Manila) "Walang mangyayari sa amin ni Ekra dahil two-twenty ako!"

LTE Says: Two-Twenty din yan ang Ekra noh... akala nya lang na One-Ten sya. Ang tanong, sino ang gumamit ng electrical converter sa inyong dalawa?


Miss April: Luis Batchoy

"For a shot at happiness, everything is worth it. It's never easy, but to have someone to take shots with is more than enough, kesa naman there is no one to do so. When life gives you lemons, lick, shoot and bite!"

LTE Says: Wala kaming ma-say. 


Miss May: Kawadjan

(On Marco Morales' frontal Nudity in the movie Walang Kawala ) "Kalowka! Napaluhod ako at napa-rosaryo!"

LTE Says: Very Rosaryo Dawson ang acting ng gagah. Amen! At dahil dyan, Miss May ka day! Kahit di ka mananalo, bagay ang pangalang May para sa yo. 


Miss June: Kiks
"The difference between us and other animals: our tails are not in our behinds. And more: we want some people's tails right there in our behinds. Or, okay, our tails in some people's behinds. 

With or without it, gurl, we still virtually wag ours when we see things or people interesting. Now it depends on the other dogs or whatever animal they represent how they would respond to our tails. Or our pheromones. Still be a Q if you must".

LTE Says: Speaking about the TiTi, not the Award but the TiTi itself is always a TiTi magnet. Pwedeng ilagay sa Refrigerator nyo! Chos! 

-----O-----

Congratulationg Girls! You made it to the Top 6 (or shall we say 7. Double nomination kasi ang Kiks!) Vengga!

So, VOTE na! 

Sa di nakaka-alam kung ano ang TiTi... ewan ko na lang sa inyo! Charoot! Yep, TiTi is an award given to the Best Comment made sa blog na tits! Given every Month sana.... nawala sya ng anim na buwan. Ito na ang pagbabalik ng TiTi.

Vote for your Top 3 sa comment section. Dont forget to rank them from First to Third. And Please.... walang kinalaman ang mga Pics above. Alam naman natin na di ganyan kaganda ang ating mga nominees. Wit and Personality na lang, wiz Beauty! 

Awards Night will be in five days. Good Luck to all the nominees. Vavoooooo!